Saturday, August 7, 2010

Singularity, Senior Year and the De-Complicatedness-Ing of My Life.

Once apon a time, I was a wee one.

I was a little girl who played and was silly. I didn't think much about who I was, as a human being. I had a wonderful, loving family, and toys. And that was all that mattered.

...Then I grew up.

Now, I don't know who I am. There are so many different sides of me, I get lost trying to stick to one.

Sometimes, I'm single.

... Sometimes I'm not.

Sometimes I feel as if I'm country at heart.

And then I remember how preppy I am and how much I love the city.

Sometimes, I feel all maternal and cannot wait to grow up and be a mother.

Sometimes, I never want to grow up and love being a crazy, reckless teen.

Sometimes, I cook, or am crafty and domestic.

(yes, i homemade that pizza. even the crust. and made that lampshade. even the frame.)

...Sometimes I just am so not.

But no matter what the world tries to shape me into....

I'm still me. And that's what matters, right?

Maybe I'll grow up and be a midwife, a teacher, a nurse. Maybe I'll be a stay at home mom. Maybe I'll travel the world. Maybe I'll stay right here in good old AK. I don't know what the future holds, and frankly, I'm trying not to stress it. God has a plan and a purpose. It's gonna fall into place no matter what I do. So for now, I stop being paranoid about my future. I've got ten days of summer left. Then, I've got one year of high school. I'm not going to stress the details. it doesn't really matter where I go to school. It doesn't really matter where I live 20 years from now. None of it matters. I'm going to sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride. Or else none of it will be meaningful, anyways. I'm going to have the best year ever... I'm going to enjoy every last minute with my family. I'm going to make crazy memories with my best friends. I'm going to stay single, and just enjoy being me. As complicated and confusing as that can be. I'm going to love my life.

1 comment:

  1. Dear Destinee,
    you are the only one who would thing to use a word like "decomplicatedness-ing" or whatever the heck you said. =P
    try saying it out loud.
    i tried.