Saturday, June 12, 2010

Peeing on Plastic Sticks.

Last night I had an awful nightmare.
Teen Pregnancy...
Is not something I want to experience ever, to say the least.

So even though it's practically impossible. Even though I've taken the necessary precautions. Even though it's been way longer than a month.

Today, I made that awful trip to WalMart.

I went into that uncomfortable section, standing next to women grabbing two or three different colored boxes, women looking anxious and hopeful... Myself looking paranoid and sick to my stomach.

I went into the bathroom, and I peed on that plastic stick.

I then waited for three god-awful minutes, imagining all my life plans being flushed down the toilet i was sitting on.

...The stick came up with one line, thank God.

But it made me feel really grateful for how lucky I've been. I'm lucky that all my teen-like excursions have ended with little heartbreak. I've never been pulled over while inebriated, I've never had to deal with sticky situations such as what on earth I'm going to do with a kid. I haven't had the cops called on me. I haven't been kicked out of any store, theater, or my house. (And I've probably deserved it plenty).

So thank you, universe, fate, Jesus, whoever is in control of teenagers and punishment. Thank you for having all my punishment for stupid crazy dumb things be at home, and manageable. Thank you that my punishments don't last me 18+ years.

Thank you that my pee sticks have all had one line.

(Not that I think all teen pregnancies are 'punishments'. It's just not something I would choose to bring upon myself).

No comments:

Post a Comment